Home > Random > Ahhh…the fair…

Ahhh…the fair…

…that magical expedition into childhood wonderment wherein you will wander aimlessly for at least three hours while your beloved children run from ride to ride to “get their thrill on” and also where you will likely step in all manner of icky grossness imaginable, and believe me, I can imagine a lot of things. Sadly, I didn’t have to imagine for long…*shudder*

So there we were – strolling into the County Fairgrounds (i.e. the local big @$$ parking lot) and I remember thinking to myself that when I was a kid, the fairgrounds were just that…grounds…as in grass and dirt grounds, as in recently cut hay fields of some sort…as in not asphalt. And it was hot, had been all day and walkin’ across that asphalt was like walking on the sun. I know, I know…nothing like Arizona heat, but I’m a lowly Northwesterner…I’m barely used to seeing the sun let alone being outside walking in it after it’s spent the better part of eight hours beating down on a slab of rock that is the temporary home of ‘fun city’. There is just nothing at all fun about walking around in circles as sweat drips down yer back and not a water bottle under $2 in sight. I bought one anyway. It wasn’t even cold.

However…there are compensations for such discomfort: The joy on your children’s faces as they accomplish NOT vomiting (this time) as a result from riding their favourite ride (which turned out to be THIS THING:


We were warned not to stand too close…you know…just in case.

The Gravitron, on the other hand, almost did my oldest in.


Then, the sudden calm that descends when you give said children a 5 lb bag of cotton candy each (okay, okay…I’m exaggerating. They were 4 lb bags). The shear ecstasy of finding out your 8 year old is so tall she can now ride the concussion inducing Hammerhead (I told her, “When you are responsible for your own medical bills, then by ALL means!”), ah…the milestones – how they come and go.

Honestly though, it’s the people watching (my favourite sport) that’s the best. You’ve gotta wonder if some people just put a blindfold on before they dress…because Lord have mercy, some people will wear ANYTHING in public!! Would someone please explain to me the whole lingerie as legitimate attire thing? ‘Cause I’ve nevernevernever understood it. A slip, black or not, goes UNDER the dress…it is not tha’dress. And they call it UNDERwear for a reason!! Ugh! But hey…here’s a fashion tip for ya, if it appears on any of the webpages of Go Fug Yourself, then sistah…it is a fashion DON’T! With a capital HELLNO!

A couple of more things I really need help understanding. I want to know exactly when leggings became acceptable again and I want to know if it was EVER acceptable to wear said leggings WITH cowboy boots??? (mind you the jet black kind of leggings that stop just below the knee leaving a good three inches of bare skin visible above the top of the boot). That only worked in 1989 and it only worked for Pat Benetar, mainly because she was wearing black pumps…not cowboy boots *cringe*.

For the record: wearing white pumps WITH gold lame’ ankle socks UNDER your black stirrup pants (*kak* – stirrup pants!! I never thought I’d live to see this heinous sacrilege reemerge!) cannot possibly distract everyone from the fact that you are wearing a matching gold lame’ backless shirt AND a white, five hook, Playtex Cross-Your Heart Bra. Nice try though *wink*, but anyone with the common sense of a brick KNOWS it should’ve been a BLACK, five hook, Playtex Cross-Your Heart Bra! What the hell were you thinking?

Side Note: Dudes…freakin’ PULL UP your JEANS! I really DON’T want to see your Ginch Gonch’s peekabooing at me as your 3x’s too big jeans are sliding down your @$$ because you’re too cool to wear a belt. And besides…how are you gonna get away from the cops if you’re trying to run AND hold yer pants up at the same time?

Most of yesterdays fashion nightmare on Elm Street just left me shaking my head. But hey…this is the fair, and it’s pretty tame compared to what I’ve heard Hollyweird Blvd can be like!

Categories: Random
  1. No comments yet.
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: