Home > Random, Rants > Elevators…


…are at best a very odd sort of conveyance.  When you decide to take an elevator, you’ve basically decided to volunteer for temporary imprisonment…and we all know how comfortable that idea is, lol.  Not to mention the fact that, of course, the higher you go – the further you have to fall.  Huh…kinda sounds like a metaphor for life.  Interesting.

Also, elevators (in general) are the only kind of transportation in which it is actually unreasonable to start up a conversation.  There just isn’t meaningful time to get past “hello”, and if it happens to be the creepy guy from the 3rd floor who says “hello”, well who the hell knows what exactly he meant by it!  There isn’t even proper time to analyze (or in my case, OVER-analyze) it!  Could be perfectly innocent, could also be “I have duck tape and rope in my trunk…interested?”  *shudder*<<<<and so not in a good way!!

So, given that there isn’t proper time to actually converse, what is it we all do?  Walk in, give a nod to the fella all ready standing there and face the doors while sweating out the few seconds of uncomfortable silence where horrible thoughts assail the inner soul:  Is it MY deodorant that failed?  Or is it the guy next to me? *DING*  The doors open and at least one of you is free…until the next time.  mwahahahaha!

Now, if you happen to work in one of those 60+ floor monoliths so popular in major cities, well…that’s a different scenario altogether!  You could be on that elevator for a full 10 minutes (what with all the stopping and starting and loading and unloading – Lord help ya if yer on the top floor)!

The big issue with looooong elevator rides is the fact that more often than not you wind up riding with the same people every day.  Usually more than once.  Which brings up the question:  How much can you talk about and still sound interesting WITHOUT “oversharing” or repeating yourself thereby sounding like a completely self-obsessed moron?  Tricky.  Very tricky, because undoubtedly this elevator peer will know if you’re covering the same ground over and over…or if you’re talking right out of your ass.   Thankfully, this is not an issue I have to face on a regular basis as my building does not even have one and while I’m sure that’s against some fire-code somewhere…it doesn’t seem to be an issue here.  It’s only a two story building anyway.  It’s only one flight of stairs.  *grin*

And speaking of elevators…do you think you could you step into this one?  *laugh!*

Categories: Random, Rants
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