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They’re remaking “Footloose”?!?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

A remake to the 1984 Kevin Bacon-starring film, “Footloose”, has been set to be directed by Kenny Ortega, the helmer of Disney’s “High SchoolMusical” series. It is expected to start its principal photography in Atlanta sometime this spring with a budget over $20 million and a possible 2010 release.

“Rumor of ‘Footloose’ Remake”: Ace Showbiz.com

Cinema-sacrilege! Say it isn’t so!! How can they do this to one of the most cheese-tastic movies of all the 80’s? I have to do something…I…don’t…I…gotta…CUT LOOSE! FOOTLOOSE! Kick off my Sunday shoes…Geez…Louise…I have a feeling that this will not end well.

UPDATE: Just…no words man…just…go here…Doveman’s ‘Footloose’: The Lillywhite Session – or, cut and paste this address:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94718524

Scroll down to “Listen Now”, click it – it’s a podcast from Lillywhite Sessions. It is a taste of the remade soundtrack for the new “Footloose” movie. The new version of “Footloose” starts at 2:42.  My head exploded at 3:55, and frankly, I’m surprised I lasted that long.

Update 10AUG2010 – look at what I found…

(O_o  Clearly this is a joke.)

 

I take it back…I’ve got plenty of words, lol.  From this music it is to be assumed that Ren is a suicidal EMO timidly tip-toeing around campus as he seethingly whispers; “everybody cut! everybody cut!”

And “Dancing in the Sheets?” It’s great, except it might make you think you’ve ingested some kind of methamphetamine as you time-traveled back to the Beatles recording session of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.”

The only slightly luke warm spot is “Almost Paradise” and that’s not to say it’s even close to a passable remake. It’s so whinny…it’s like “Almost paradise but I decided to kill myself instead…please, please LOVE ME! I just need you to LOOOOOVE MEEEEE!” Far too desperate in all the wrong ways.  I mean, if Ren was desperate it was because he was trapped not because he was melodramatic! He needed to get out of that stinkin’ small town but he couldn’t so then he had to save that stinkin’ small town and HE DID! And good for him.

If this soundtrack is a harbinger of things to come, then we can fully expect Ren to be nothing more than a stripped down version of Pete Wentz whose biggest ambition is to silently whine and moan about how badly he wants to do something about something but he’s just so depressed that he can’t figure it out so he’ll just go write about his feelings instead of taking it out on an abandoned warehouse like a real man does.

The only way this thing might (and that is a really big “might”) be salvaged would be if Kevin Bacon assumed the role of Reverend Shaw Moore (Bacon makes everything better, right?  Maybe that’s just with food…though I have to admit, I think it’s true of movies too).  :D  Sadly, I have a sneaking suspicion that he won’t be going near this thing with 22 1/2′ pole.

So depressing.

Categories: Favorites, Movies
  1. April 2, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    Agreed. What is with all the remakes??? Especially with the disney musical crowd? LAME.

    • April 2, 2009 at 7:52 pm

      They better not lay a finger on “Pretty in Pink”! :P

  2. April 2, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    Zac Efron pulled out from starring because he doesn’t want to get “typecast” doing musicals. Uh, too late, dude!! Actually, I think he would have been good.

    Now, the latest rumor is that Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl had a good audtion.

    Blu, the original will always be there. I’m just happy musicals are being made again, and the young ‘uns are appreciating them!

    • April 2, 2009 at 7:52 pm

      “Uh, too late, dude!!” ROFLMAO! Too right! :D

      I know the original is untouchable but it’s just so…apalling. And the thing is, it’s gonna be far worse than anyone has yet imagined. I just did an update. This thing has train wreck all over it. Actually…I think that will be most of the fun. Can’t wait, lol!

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