Home > Favorites, Rants > Dear John letter to Starbucks:

Dear John letter to Starbucks:

Starbucks…we’ve had a good run, you and I.  You were there for me in my ignorant youth and I gave you so much of my money.  You comforted me with your big easy chairs and your cookie-cutter jazz sounds when I thought I needed to feel snobby, when I craved to be just a little bit snooty.  You fed my vanity to my detriment, or so I thought. What you really did was, keep me blind to what a REAL coffee should be.

I know, I know…you say you are reliable and are always with me no matter what city I find myself in…and this is true.  However, I’m afraid I have outgrown you.  You insist on staying the same old you.  You are so last century with your overly roasted, dried up nasty beans.  The only thing you’re still good for is your orange/cranberry scones, but that isn’t enough for me anymore, no…sadly, this is farewell.  Farewell to you Starbucks,  the McDonald’s of the coffee world, my eyes have forever been opened.  It is truly sad that it has taken me this long to find out what REAL coffee is supposed to taste like.  Good, however, that I didn’t have to actually travel to Sumatra’s Gayo Mountain region to find it.

Starbucks…meet my new coffee:

Wandering Goat Coffee Company (clearly in honor of the The Kaldi Coffee legend).

I had a cup of their wonderful brew at a fabulous little desert bar called Nib (a little restaurant that is still SO new to the local scene that they don’t even have a website yet…but let me tell you…FABULOUS!!!). It was presented to me French pressed and was so rich and smooth…I didn’t even need half and half. !!! I AWAYS NEED HALF AND HALF IN MY COFFEE (or so YOU said…LIAR)!!! It was everything I ever dreamed coffee could be…AND THEN SOME!  The best coffee I’ve ever had.

The truth is you wanted me to love you, but you never loved me.  You took, took, took and never gave me anything beyond a false sense of society and a plasticized vision of classiness.   I won’t weep for you though, no…you still have the blind masses devoted to your two-tailed mermaid logo, two-tailed like the two-faced coffee you turned out to be.  I wasted the best coffee drinking years of my life on you!!!

Starbucks, I think if we’re honest with each other, we will see that you won’t miss me, and I certainly won’t miss you.  Maybe if I find myself stranded in a strange city I’ll pop in for a bit.  Or, maybe I’d rather drink pond scum.  It wouldn’t be that much different…now that I understand what I’ve been missing, lo, these many years. LMAO!!!!

Ciao’!

  1. August 20, 2009 at 2:43 pm

    Haha! Right..
    Still Starbucks is a place to escape for me… Here there are not many of those cosy cute coffeshops, so… But Wandering Goat looks amazing! Oh, I wish I could “visit” it…
    have you been there? ;)

    • August 20, 2009 at 3:16 pm

      I’m going this weekend. So far I’ve only had their coffee at my new favorite little dessert bar…but going straight to the source on Sunday morning. I should take pictures. :D

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