Archive for the ‘Ugh!’ Category

Did you know…

November 4, 2006 Leave a comment

That you can have a car key for so long that it will no longer turn the ignition in your car?  It can actually be worn down to a nub and just…not work!

Where I learned this lesson?  At a gas station.  After a loooooong, intense day at work.  On my way home I thought – ‘I’ll just swing in here and get some gas.  I don’t really need to yet…but why not?  I’m here, the gas station is here, my money is in my pocket.  PERFECT TIMING!”  AND!!  Even though there was a gas tanker pulled in obviously to refill the station, he hadn’t started yet and there was just enough room between him and the only open pump!  YEAH ME!  So, I squeeze my monolith of a truck between the tanker and the pump (so close to the tanker, mind you, that I cannot open my door), shut off my engine like a good little driver, and politely wait for the attendent to come on over and start pumping my gas (it’s not that I’m a pump-wimp or anything, it’s actually state law in Oregon that we cannot pump our own fuel.  Personally, having grown up in a place where I had to – I LIKE IT!  No smelly gas on my hands! BwaHA!).

So, the friendly attendant comes over and informs me that, by the way, could I just move over to the other side because they were closing this lane for the tanker.  SURE!  I’m not in a rush, I’m easy going, I can do that! (or so I think)  >insert key and turn<  Or TRY to turn is more like it.  You see, what happens when your key wears out is it no longer turns the ignition switch.  AT ALL.  And here I am, thinking…’aw – it’s just jammed…again.’  Like it does sometimes.  So, I’m cranking on that sucker and NUHTHING!  It. won’t. budge.

At this point, I start to kinda panic because the attendent is wondering what’s wrong with me that I haven’t moved yet, and here comes the tanker driver wondering what the hell the hold up is.  CRANK, CRANK, CRANK! (still nothing!) CRANK, CRANK *hits stirring wheel AND ignition housing (just for good measure)* (still nothing!) So, the driver (very kindly) offers his own help, reaches in from the passenger side and sure enough…even he cannot turn it.  So, I ask him, can he at least go ahead and start filling the tank?  I said, “Looks like I might be here a while.” It was at that point he tells me that not only am I blocking his exit from the gas station (he’s at an odd angle and would take off my front end if he tried to pull out), I am also parked directly OVER the top of the tank he’s supposed to unload in.


With no other alternative left to me, I decide it’s time…to call…my husband (hangs head in shame).  Lord love him, he dropped everything (because he knew exactly what was wrong) and came straight over.  He says to me over the phone as he’s driving over, “Well, put the car in neutral and at least push it out of there!”  I said, “Well…with the wheels being locked because I can’t turn the effin’ ignition…its very likely I’ll go head on into the side of the tanker and if I go backwards, I’m blocking incoming traffic.”  Oh.  The humanity of it all.  I was so frustrated.  Poor gas truck guy was off his schedule because I had to stop in for a quick fill up.  I hate my truck, lol.  I think I would’ve driven it off a cliff if I could’ve gotten the freakin’ key to turn the thing on.

So – after another agonizing 10 minutes or so, my White Knight appears (in a black volvo) with two cranky girls in the back seat and he thinks he can just get’er done.  He tries my key first and discovers what the rest of us already knows…IT DON’T WORK!  Luckily, he did have is own copy and sure enough – it worked beautifully.  And the angels were singing! as we drove outta there.  And yes, I did have it filled up after the fact.

Thus ends the saga of how I learned that you can have a car key for so long that it will no longer turn the ignition in your car.  I have a new key now…but I still wanna drive that beast off a cliff (but not with me in it…anymore).

Categories: Favorites, Ugh!